Lake Oconee Breeze

Mind Your Health

February 7, 2013

Try to avoid 'The Seven Deadly Sins of Divorce'

LAKE OCONEE — I ran across this article recently and it reminded me that I might write again an article on divorce and some of its ramifications. Divorce does happen often, especially during the summer when kids are out of school, and divorced couples often add to their separation pain by doing, or failing to do, certain things that are in their best interest, as well as for any children that may be involved. So let me share “The Seven Deadly Sins of Divorce” as seen through the pen of Natasha Burton as she gleans insight from a book entitled LAST ONE DOWN THE AISLE WINS by family therapist Shannon Fox and divorce attorney Celeste Liversidge. An interesting collaboration.

Before getting into the “Sins” Ms. Burton cites an interesting study from the University of Pennsylvania that correlates age of marriage and education with marital happiness. The study found that 81 percent of college graduates who wed during the 80s, at age 26 or older, were still married twenty years later. That number decreased to 65 percent for college grads who married before age 26. There are a number of studies pointing out that the more education you have and being older than 25 increases the probability of marriage success.

And the “Sins” are:

Forcing your kids to take sides: “The last thing a parent wants to do during a divorce is to cause more pain for the children. Unfortunately, more often than not, the way a parent acts during the divorce makes things worse for the kids than necessary. … Using your kids as pawns in the process will cause irreparable damage to them. Don’t force them to take sides or to prove their love to you by defying their other parent. … Remind them that both of their parents love them and always will have a relationship with them.”

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