Those who shall go to “Wolverine” need no reviewer to tell them “yea” or “nay,” for they will have already gone and seen the movie before this review takes the form of ink and paper.

This is a product with a built in customer base … and they are loyal. But this is all for a sound and true reason. The X-Men film franchise, based on Marvel Comic characters, is, as far as Hollywood goes, true to its inspiration.

This is a prequel to the already released X-Men films (three before this one). Basically, it is about a bunch of mutants with superpowers who fight evil-doers. Yes, I know, there are more than a few film franchises with this theme — not to mention a television series or two. “X-Men” (the film) has various characters but in this one we get the back story of perhaps one of the most popular mutants, Wolverine. He is an immortal who has sharp blades that protrude from his hands when he gets all riled up. He also is strong and has a something like mutton chop facial hair. He is played by Hugh Jackman, who is buffed-up enough to cause strong women to swoon and all men to glow green with envy.

We learn how he got his name and how he got those shiny blades for his hands … and about his daddy and brother who have different superpowers. It took me a while to figure out “what” his brother was. At first I thought he was sort of a vampire dude but without being dead and having a silly Romanian accent. Later, when I heard his “superpower” name, I got it. This character (the brother) is played by Liev Schreiber. His character’s name is Victor Creed a.k.a. Sabretooth … like the tiger. Aha!

I’m trying not to spoil too much here but suffice to say Wolverine is born with most of his powers but they are improved and enhanced by (tada!) an evil military officer who has gone rogue and deceives just about everybody.

Also, brothers Wolverine and Sabretooth have this Cain and Abel thing going … they love each other and then hate each other and then they knock each other around a bunch. And then they split and then they get back together and then thump each other around some more. Just like two teen-aged hormone infested … comic book readers.

Hugh Jackman appears a lot without his shirt. Liev Schreiber, on the other hand, has to do all his flippin’ and floppin’ in a long black rain coat. This is due, apparently, to his body not responding to the muscle bulgin’ techniques that worked so well for his Aussie co-star.

This film has plenty of action and special effects to keep even the dead awake. The bad guys are two-dimensional. This is because three dimensional characters in comic book literature are mind-numbingly boring. If you want that, read a novel or go see a foreign film. For heaven’s sake, this is based on a comic book, not one of Shakespeare’s torturous histories.

Oh, wait: here is a thought. I wonder why the folks down at Gitmo don’t show their guests a production of “Henry IV, Part 1.” That would break them — even before the intermission. Right, that really would be inhumane.

Anyway, there are explosions and spine snapping and this real cool laser beam destruction thing going on. I mean it is an overdose of comicbookanalia. I had a good time. It is sort of like eating a whole bag of frozen Oreos — but without the calories … and probably about as nutritious.

For those who really remember the plots and details of the other three X-Men films: there will be a few inconsistencies — but again — these plotlines do not come with Cliff Notes and the screenwriters won’t be getting a grade — just oodles and oodles of money from all the fans filling the seats.

Like I said: if you are waiting for me to give you the “yea” on this, you won’t likely be going anyway. “Them that would go” will have gone and “them that haven’t gone yet” will probably not heed my advice anyway.

“X-Men Origins: Wolverine” earns four out of five bow ties.

React to this story:


This Week's Circulars