This Sunday is Father’s Day.  If you are a father, what does it mean to you?  If you are a child, what does it mean to you?  Is the day important? Does it bring forth any particular thoughts and feelings? I hope that it does for it is important to reflect on the role of Father in the family.

As Father’s day approaches this year a particular song keeps coming to my mind.  It is an emotional song for many sons and daughters. It’s called “Leader of the Band” and sung by Dan Fogelberg.  Some of the lyrics are:

The leader of the band is tired

and his eyes are growing old,

but his blood runs through my instrument

and his song is in my soul.

I thank you for the kindness

and the times when you got tough.

And, Pap, I don’t think

I said, “I love you” near enough.

My life has been a poor attempt

to imitate the man.

I’m just a living legacy

to the leader of the band.

The Father sets the tone (or tune) in the family — good or bad.  The influence on the family, on kids, is very significant, both through heredity and example. The Father’s blood runs through us in many influential ways.

What has been the impact of your father on you?  Have you wanted to be like your father or have you chosen to modify or do the opposite?  Usually “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” It is important to know who your father was and what his influence has been on you.  Even if you did not have a father present, that abandonment by him has deeply impacted you — perhaps in ways that you are not very in touch with.

The message here is to know the influence of your father on you. Perhaps you could reflect on that, get in touch with the related feelings, and, perhaps, even share that with a significant other.      

Also, those of you who are currently fathers, what kind are you? Where can improvement be made?  Dare you ask your children what kind of father you are or have been?  If improvement is called for, rise to the occasion.  A Father always has some influence.

Make no mistake, you are called to be the “Leader of the Band.” Bring forth a beautiful song of love!  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

— Dr. Stathas is a Counseling Psychologist, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the Founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can be reached at 706-473-1780. Web site: Blog:

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