I am always looking to share with you, Respected Reader, tips on making your life better, more fulfilling and, ultimately happier. I came across an interesting article by Kelsey Borresen relative to marital success and am sharing it with you, with my additional commentary.
Marital success has many components to it. If you love your spouse you look for things to make her/him happy. May this list of nine be part of the package of good things that each of you offer to the other on a regular basis.
- THEY CHECK IN WITH EACH OTHER: The happiest couples reach out, stay in touch on a regular basis. They call/text just to say, “hello,” or “running late,” or “do you need me to stop at the store on my way home,” etc… . Those little messages say, “I’m thinking of you.” The resulting feeling is one of continuing connection — and that feels good!
- THEY GIVE EACH OTHER COMPLIMENTS: A lot of couple mess up on this one. Positive feedback always feels good and is welcomed. Two examples, “you sure look pretty/handsome in that outfit” and “thanks for the tasty dinner.” Try to offer more compliments. They are an important part for a couple appreciating and being happy with each other.
- THEY SURPRISE EACH OTHER WITH A CARD. JUST BECAUSE: Again, this is a way to say I am thinking of you. You are special.
- THEY ACT GENEROUSLY, INSTEAD OF KEEPING SCORE: Keeping score is one way to ruin a marriage. This is not to say that you should not be mindful of the responsibilities that each of you is responsible for. Happiest couples look to go the extra mile of doing something for his/her spouse.
- THEY SPEAK OPENLY ABOUT THEIR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS: Happiest couples share pertinent thought and feelings so that each partner has a sense of continued connection at a deeper level than what just the normal mundane conversations provide.
- THEY SURPRISE THEIR PARTNER WITH THEIR FAVORITE FOOD: This is another way to show your partner that you are “in touch” with him/her. Fixing or bringing home that “special” food will bring a big smile of gratefulness. Who wouldn’t want that?
- OR WITH A FRESHLY WASHED CAR: Another thoughtful way to surprise your spouse.
- THEY’RE IN THE HABIT OF SAYING, THANK YOU: This is a biggee that not enough couples practice. Notice when your partner does something of value. It is a good idea to say, “thank you”. This not only lets the partner know that you noticed and appreciated the effort. Plus, this reinforcement phrase raises the probability that the behavior will be repeated. This is similar to number 2- giving compliments.
- AND, “I LOVE YOU”: These couple share this phrase when it is unprompted, unsolicited, and unexpected. Out of the blue “I love you’s” are always special and bonding – and usually gets the same response back.
Respected Reader, hope these tips help to refresh your mind as to how such thoughtful actions that can ensure that your marriage will also be among the “happiest”!