Respected Reader, have you ever been hurt by someone? Of course you have. Are you still mad at that person? Forgiven? Many hurts from people are normal over the course of life. How you react to those infractions determines much about your mental health, and physical health as well.
Have you heard of the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? The book has become a classic over the years. It has sold more than 11 million copies to date.
The field of Psychology is the scientific study of people – how they think, feel, and behave. This analysis leads to various classifications and categories. Examples are optimist/pessimist, controller/pleaser, extrovert/introvert, etc… .
In today’s parlance, you will hear many people say I am spiritual, but not religious. Others will say spirituality is inherent in their religious faith. I would like to add some clarity regarding these two perspectives. Your spiritual and/or religious beliefs say a lot about you. They help d…
Emotional neglect, abandonment, is more pervasive than most people realize. Why? Because it is “invisible.” Parental connection, meeting your emotional needs, is not something done unto you, rather it was what you did not receive. Thus, there is no conscious memory of this experience. Howeve…
Respected Reader, what comes to your mind when you see the word “intimacy”? I’ll bet that most of you think of “sex” as your first thought. Am I right? Certainly, sex is a component of intimacy, but it is a relatively small part. True intimacy includes a number of factors. I invite you to lo…
In many families there is that “angry” kid who just seems mad so often. S/he is defiant, particularly with authority figures, often lashing out. This dynamic within the family is stressful, and occasionally dangerous. This type of be behavior is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. (ODD) Th…
I am always looking to share with you, Respected Reader, tips on making your life better, more fulfilling and, ultimately happier. I came across an interesting article by Kelsey Borresen relative to marital success and am sharing it with you, with my additional commentary.
One of the more frustrating, oftentimes angering, parts of my profession is watching parents doing a poor job of parenting. A child is unbelievably influenced by what is going on with his/her parents and the way they parent the child. Scott Bender has written about seven aspects of family li…
Life can get hectic. You are going in a thousand directions, sometimes feeling that you are not really accomplishing anything. It can wear you down. Emotional and mental exhaustion may have taken over. It is worth checking this out. Stephanie Reeds has written a check list regarding this. I …
You have probably heard the expression, “what part of no do you not understand?” Saying “no” oftentimes is not easy for various reasons. Or, receiving a “no” from another may not be easy to digest. The focus in this writing is the “power of no” in a romantic relationship. This can be a compl…
“Commitment” essentially means a pledge to follow through on something.
I believe, hope, that all parents want the very best for their children.
Any of you Respected Readers remember the song “Time in a Bottle” by Jim Croce?
To touch or not to touch, that is the question these days. Touch is powerful. Touch can be good or bad, healthy or inappropriate.
As a “certified” people watcher, I am continually amazed at the choices people make to find a romantic partner — someone to share life with into eternity.
Transparency is a word bandied about in recent times. With so much deceit in the world trust is difficult to come by.
Teenage years. Remember yours? Have you raised teenagers? Are you now? The teen brain goes through an incredible growth period on its way to full maturity. I want to share some information on this phenomenon so that a greater understanding may lead to some enlightenment and possible behavior…
Disputes happen between husbands and wives. Disagreements occur in families.
Do you feel that you have no control over what you feel?
I have written over 700 articles. They are written to assist you, Respected Reader, to have more “success” in your life - to be the best version of yourself.
There are a plethora of articles written about what men want in marriage, as well as what women want in marriage.
Do you know who Alfred Adler is?
Perhaps you have heard of the song, “Colder Weather” by Zac Brown. This song, one of Zac’s biggest hits,” has some interesting lyrics with varying interpretations.
When you marry, your family extends to others. Is the expansion beneficial or harmful?
One of the biggest insights to my life personally, as well as professionally, is the influence of various people in my life.
The goal of every parent should be to raise a confident child. Confidence is one of the core essentials that lead to success in life.
Sept. 30 marks our 40th anniversary of marriage!
Many men, beneath their chameleon cover, are lonely. It may not be obvious to many, but deep down there is a pervasive loneliness in many men.
Couple communication may well be the most challenging of all types of communication.
Oftentimes, I hear a person in my office say, “I shouldn’t feel that way,” I don’t like that I have these bad feelings.”
Happiness is a desired goal. How to reach it may present challenges, depending on a multitude of factors. Recognizing the challenges and being proactive in seeking direction and finding pragmatic solutions are key parts toward developing a life of happiness. Hopefully, each of you, Respected…
Everyone strives to be happy. Not everyone is happy. Perhaps you, Respected Reader, are not as happy as you could be.
Again I am inspired to write on a theme from a singer/storyteller. Harry Chapin. Know him?
Most people prefer to be liked. Some don’t (social misfits). Some turn themselves inside out in order to be liked (excessive pleasers).
Have you ever heard the song “Already Gone”? Recently I heard the version done by Sugarland.
I love music, in spite of the fact that I can’t carry a tune, play an instrument, or dance (I say with regret!).
A number of years ago I happened to catch well known comedian Jeff Foxworthy being interviewed on the radio. He was plugging an all day seminar on being a dad.
I have an eclectic taste in music.
What’s the No. 1 problem that couples present to me as they list the issues that exist in their troubled marriage?
A portion of my practice involves counseling romantic relationships. Some counseling sessions focus on the front end as couples come to me to see if they are a good fit for a lifetime of marital bliss. Others come toward the back end, sometimes too late, to discuss what is going wrong in t…
“Emotional landscape” – what does that mean to you? More psychobabble? Nope, it is an important aspect of your life which you may or may not be paying attention to. It significantly affects your mental health, self esteem, and overall happiness. If these factors are important to you, read on!
Valentine’s Day is upon us. Valentine's Day is celebrated as the day of romantic love in our calendar year. Sublime feelings and high expectations mark this day. Diverse media and commercialization remind us to give our love partner romantic cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, and romantic din…
In my profession I have learned a lot – to say the least! One of the more important things that has consistently shown up is that your marriage, if you choose it, needs to be your first priority – after taking your own well being and becoming the best SINGLE person that you could be.
Are you the curious type? Or, have you lost that child-like curiosity? Do you remember when you used to continually ask “why”? If you need a reminder just listen to your children, or your grandchildren, as they ask “why” about many things in their world. Asking “why” leads us down the path o…
More and more these days inquiring minds are asking me about “Borderline Personality Disorder”. Most of the time these people are wondering if some other person in their life might deserve this diagnosis, i.e., spouse, parent, child, friend, etal. Usually their understanding is limited. Thus…
Ever heard or uttered such a phrase? If someone dressed you down by saying this, how did it feel? Still feel loved? I doubt it. It is probably a phrase that should be retired from usage.
Along the pathway of life you make choices to acquire, keep, or leave behind. At a given time these choices appear to be the “right” ones, the best available. Categories may include friends, lovers, parents, siblings, kids, jobs, finances, cities, habits, beliefs, activities, material “stuff”, etc…
I am a professional in the mental health field. I continually am trying to assist clients to become stronger mentally in order to become more successful in everyday living and in their relationships. Recently I came across a book by Amy Morin with the above quoted title that I thought was te…
One of the major insights of my life has been the realization that everyone has emotional scars and how impactful those scars are in a person’s attempts to have a fulfilling life. Emotional scars can vary over a wide spectrum. They could come from what was done unto you, or what you did not …
Life is a series of transitions adapting to unfolding events in our life. One of the most painful transitions for many is the death of a spouse. In the United States 13% of men and 40% of women aged 65 and older are widows. Women make up 11 million of the 13 million bereaved spouses. As our …
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