You have probably heard the expression, “what part of no do you not understand?” Saying “no” oftentimes is not easy for various reasons. Or, receiving a “no” from another may not be easy to digest. The focus in this writing is the “power of no” in a romantic relationship. This can be a compl…

Teenage years. Remember yours? Have you raised teenagers? Are you now? The teen brain goes through an incredible growth period on its way to full maturity. I want to share some information on this phenomenon so that a greater understanding may lead to some enlightenment and possible behavior…

Oftentimes, I hear a person  in my office say, “I shouldn’t feel that way,” I don’t like that I have these bad feelings.”

 

Happiness is a desired goal. How to reach it may present challenges, depending on a multitude of factors. Recognizing the challenges and being proactive in seeking direction and finding pragmatic solutions are key parts toward developing a life of happiness. Hopefully, each of you, Respected…

Everyone strives to be happy. Not everyone is happy. Perhaps you, Respected Reader, are not as happy as you could be. 

  A portion of my practice involves counseling romantic relationships. Some counseling sessions focus on the front end as couples come to me to see if they are a good fit for a lifetime of marital bliss. Others come toward the back end, sometimes too late, to discuss what is going wrong in t…

 “Emotional landscape” – what does that mean to you? More psychobabble? Nope, it is an important aspect of your life which you may or may not be paying attention to. It significantly affects your mental health, self esteem, and overall happiness. If these factors are important to you, read on!

Valentine’s Day is upon us. Valentine's Day is celebrated as the day of romantic love in our calendar year.  Sublime feelings and high expectations mark this day.  Diverse media and commercialization remind us to give our love partner romantic cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, and romantic din…

 In my profession I have learned a lot – to say the least! One of the more important things that has consistently shown up is that your marriage, if you choose it, needs to be your first priority – after taking your own well being and becoming the best SINGLE person that you could be.

Are you the curious type? Or, have you lost that child-like curiosity? Do you remember when you used to continually ask “why”? If you need a reminder just listen to your children, or your grandchildren, as they ask “why” about many things in their world. Asking “why” leads us down the path o…

More and more these days inquiring minds are asking me about “Borderline Personality Disorder”. Most of the time these people are wondering if some other person in their life might deserve this diagnosis, i.e., spouse, parent, child, friend, etal. Usually their understanding is limited. Thus…

Ever heard or uttered such a phrase? If someone dressed you down by saying this, how did it feel? Still feel loved? I doubt it. It is probably a phrase that should be retired from usage.

Along the pathway of life you make choices to acquire, keep, or leave behind. At a given time these choices appear to be the “right” ones, the best available. Categories may include friends, lovers, parents, siblings, kids, jobs, finances, cities, habits, beliefs, activities, material “stuff”, etc…

I am a professional in the mental health field. I continually am trying to assist clients to become stronger mentally in order to become more successful in everyday living and in their relationships. Recently I came across a book by Amy Morin with the above quoted title that I thought was te…

One of the major insights of my life has been the realization that everyone has emotional scars and how impactful those scars are in a person’s attempts to have a fulfilling life. Emotional scars can vary over a wide spectrum. They could come from what was done unto you, or what you did not …

Life is a series of transitions adapting to unfolding events in our life. One of the most painful transitions for many is the death of a spouse. In the United States 13% of men and 40% of women aged 65 and older are widows. Women make up 11 million of the 13 million bereaved spouses. As our …

Elvis has inspired me! “Duh”, you say. Let me explain. I listen to a lot of music. It is my therapeutic “feel good” inspiring tonic. Recently I heard Elvis’ song “You Asked Me To” and thought about an important topic that I encounter frequently in couples counseling.

Most couples argue some. Some couples argue a lot. Differences of opinion are pretty normal between any two people. Just look at Facebook if you want to see a variety of opinions! To differ is okay. But what is important is how differences of opinion are shared and, hopefully, resolved in a …

I believe most of us would like to live a peaceful life, one with minimal stress with a sense of well being and joy permeating our being. Along life’s path I doubt that you received the manual as to how to gain this way of life. You, like most of us, have picked up bits of wisdom here and th…

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to have a quality relationship is communication. In counseling sessions with spouses or between family members the lack of good communication is always a center piece of the issues discussed. For some couples I have asked them to get a simple audio recorder to re…

Most people want a loving relationship that is special and enduring. Most people do not have a clue as to how to create and maintain such a relationship. This writing focuses on finding a healthy balance within yourself and then developing the skills needed for such an endeavor. If you have …

People marry. People divorce. People re-marry, often after having kids. Such a subsequent marriage offers many challenges, which is why the divorce rate for them is significantly higher. One of the main reasons for such failure is the children factor – trying to combine two families. Not easy!

Do you have role models? Did you have them while growing up? Who were, or are, your mentors? Popular commentary states that such persons are important for a child growing up. I agree — depending on who you give the distinction of being a role model or mentor.

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