In my profession I have learned a lot – to say the least! One of the more important things that has consistently shown up is that your marriage, if you choose it, needs to be your first priority – after taking your own well being and becoming the best SINGLE person that you could be.
Hopefully you have seen the value of optimal personal development. Few people do. If you decide you would like the marriage state then do your research, due diligence, as to what type of person is the best fit for you as you travel through life. If you are already married perhaps you can do some tweaking, or major reconstruction if needed, to get your marriage into good shape.
Thus, if you are married make your partner your priority. Develop a rich solid loving marriage. If you have kids, or plan or having them, let them see your bonded love – that you are a “we” in making decisions going forth. In doing this you will be giving your kids the best gift that you could give them. This “gift” is two parents who love each other and continually make thoughtful compromising decisions that result in a good marriage model and a solid security blanket for your kids.
I think one of the best compliments I have ever received is when our two kids, individually have stated, “Dad you guys always put your marriage first. We could not divide you for our personal gain when we were kids. Ultimately this did give us security for which we are grateful. You two are the role models for our marriage and family.” Wow, it doesn’t get any better than that! They have chosen good partners, have solid loving marriages, and are raising their children with the model they witnessed growing up.
To put your marriage first is to recognize and do the things that reflect that commitment. It may not be easy, but it is important with significant ramifications. Too often people put their job, kids, animals, friends, etc… ahead of their spouse. Costly mistake!
“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates