Ever heard or uttered such a phrase? If someone dressed you down by saying this, how did it feel? Still feel loved? I doubt it. It is probably a phrase that should be retired from usage.

Do you sometimes have dislike feelings toward someone? Of course. But every feeling or thought does not need to come out of your mouth. To like someone is a prerequisite to love someone. When you are disliking you sure aren’t feeling loving toward another.

When you say “I love you but sometimes I don’t like you” you are pulling a power play. You are talking down to the person from a pseudo exalted position that you placed yourself upon. You judge the other person rather than expressing a differing opinion on an action. Can you see the difference?

Surely there are times when you are irritated, frustrated, angry at someone for what s/he did. The better statement, if you feel the need to express this feeling, would be to say that you did not like the BEHAVIOR, not to say I don’t like YOU. The focus should be on the action taken, not the person. There is a difference.

Such a distinction is important in communication at every level of human interaction. Saying “I don’t like you” hurt or angers the other person. A significant gap in that relationship develops and or deepens. Nobody wants to hear “I don’t like you,” even when it is nonsensically tied on to “I love you.”

From another perspective, on the positive side, it is a wonderful compliment to give and receive the “I like you” message. To be liked makes a person feel good, warm and fuzzy. It can be even a better verbal exchange if the person receiving the “I like you” can genuinely respond with “I like you too!” This exchange can begin well a new relationship or deepen an existing one. Try it!

On a closing note, I LIKE that you are reading this. And, I probably would LIKE you as a person if I knew you. Don’t you feel warm and fuzzy hearing that! Hope you LIKED this article and may even LIKE me! If not, it was worth a try!

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: Stathas@plantationcable.net. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com.

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